These Boots Were Made for Walken
by KF fan
Summary: Musicals are completely unrealistic declares Kid Flash. Things like that never happen in real life.


A/N This story was inspired by Songbook12's story "Bootless".

**TT**TT**TT**TT

Kid Flash shook his head walking by the table in the Tower kitchen where Jinx was showing the video to Starfire.  
"Again?" he asked as he went to the refrigerator and practically inhaled half a carton of orange juice.  
"It is most playful," laughed Starfire. Past her shoulder he could see Jinx nod. See?  
Starfire got up from her chair and started singing the song and mimicking the dancers in the old video. She danced closer to Kid Flash and tried to get him to join her but he presented a stony front of absolute refusal.  
"Why not, friend Wally? It is most fun," she said continuing the imitation of the cheesy dance moves in the video, kick turn, kick turn and singing. "These boots are made for walkin' . . and that's just what they'll do . . one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you."

She ended by dissolving into laughter, the notion of such a tough girl stance was so foreign to Starfire.

"Oh, why do you refuse, Wally? It is much fun," she said with an emphatic nod.

"Star . . ," he sighed. "It's-it's like a-a musical. Musicals are a thing for gay guys."  
Starfire looked to Jinx for confirmation of this. Jinx gave a reluctant nod yes.  
"Then would friend Speedy half like them or only like them a lot half the time? How does that work?"  
Jinx burst into laughter as Kid Flash sighed in exasperation.  
"I'm sick to death of that stupid song, anyway," he finally blurted out. "She keeps singing it over and over since she got those navy leather boots she likes so much."  
Starfire nodded. "They are most stylish. Argent says so as well." Jinx positively beamed at this confirmation of her exquisite fashion sense, not that she really felt the need to prove it to someone who wore a tighter than skin tight red and yellow unitard all day long.  
"And musicals are totally unrealistic," Kid Flash blurted out, returning to the main point. "How the hell does everybody in some city square know to immediately do just a certain dance. It always struck me as ridiculous."  
"It could happen," said Jinx.  
"Oh, come on. When does that ever happen in real life?" he demanded.  
"It could."  
"If it ever does I'll be your slave for a week."  
"Do . . the boys who are the gay believe that the dance numbers are coordinated in advance?" asked Starfire.  
Jinx snickered at Wally's exasperation, running one red glove through his orange hair. "I don't know!"

Eventually Jinx and Wally started back to their room. Jinx started singing the song again, "These boots were made for walkin' and that's just what they'll-"  
He covered her mouth with one hand. "No. Seriously, no. Not one more time. Enough with the boots. You're driving me nuts with that stupid song and your fetish about boots. No more? Promise?"

Jinx gave a very long sigh. She nodded.

But she just shifted to another level of attack.

Over the next couple days, the sorceress made the point to her speedster husband that without boots you didn't have history. Warriors all throughout history in everything but the hottest climes? Boots. Cowboys and settlers of the american west? Boots. Shakespeare's magnificent 29th sonnet? Trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries. There it was in Shakespeare. Down and out? Bootless!

Protective. Functional. Stylish. She wore him down with the intellectual and historical background of boots. They were on a kick of watching old action movies. Jinx cued up three of her favorites. The Three Musketeers. Boots. Zorro. Boots. The Adventures of Robin Hood. Boots.

By the time the next weekend rolled around, Kid Flash agreed to go with her to the super high end Jump City boot shop that celebrities were rumored to use to have their boots fixed. Usually he let her do that alone or as a girl thing with Starfire, Raven or Argent. All of them were busy doing other things this time. He surprised her by agreeing to go along.

It was a much larger shop than he'd expected and close by, not far in from the Jump City Coast directly opposite Titans Tower. There were dozens of stands and displays of different boots all around the store and there were 15 or 20 other customers in there at the same time. Jinx was there to pick up her navy leather favorites after having the heels worked on. Kid Flash zipped around the store looking at the men's boots. He was seriously considering getting a pair to wear as a civilian. There were some he thought were okay but one particular pair behind the glass counter caught his eye. They were perfect.

He waited for Jinx to finish paying for hers. "What about those?" he asked pointing to a pair of boots underneath the glass next to the cash register.

"These?!" the clerk said much louder than necessary retrieving them from under the glass and holding them up over his head.  
Kid Flash glanced around skeptically. Why was he doing that? And why were all the customers coming toward them?  
"Um, yeah, those. I think I'd like to buy those. What size are they?"

"Oh, you can't buy these," said the clerk with a big grin that Kid Flash didn't understand. He also noticed that Jinx was grinning, too. What the . .?

"You see, these boots are waiting to be picked up. They were custom made for a hollywood actor. Christopher Walken. That's right . . . these boots were . . . made for Walken!"  
"No!" shouted Kid Flash.  
Too late. The clerk, Jinx and all the customers broke into an impromptu song and dance. Kick turn. Kick turn. Kick turn.  
"These boots are made for walkin' and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you . . ."  
They even hummed the bass line. Jinx led the whole group in a second and third rendition of the entire song. People were coming in off the street to join in and other clerks came out of the storage room to be part of the fun. The store had turned into a great big hollywood musical number.  
Kid Flash ended up slumped over the glass counter in surrender.  
"You win," he muttered to Jinx.  
"Why do you even try?"


End file.
